Letter from a Woman with Vagina Dentata

Yet when we were finally in each others’ arms, my friend revealed that he had dressed his penis in what could only be described as a little customised suit of armour. During intercourse there was a frightful racket and afterwards I found, upon examination, that the teeth of my vagina were bleeding. I always brush my teeth very thoroughly to avoid unnecessary trips to the dentist – he always kicks up a fuss about checking my teeth – but I had no alternative but to make an appointment this time. The dentist removed several of my teeth, and he warned that in future I may have to wear false teeth. This may ultimately be a good thing, because then I would be able to remove them before intercourse.